Saturday, November 1, 2008
The urge to want to die is already killing me.
If only I am not afraid of dieing.
I would have already got rammed down by a car just now.
Every single car that passed by was talking to me.
They were calling to me.
They were telling me to move infront of them
As they sped pass.
It was scary.
The calls from the cars, they are just so frightening.
That I cried right in the middle of the road.
And when I was swimming.
I tried drowning myself.
But it was too cold that I couldnt stay inside.
If only I wasnt afraid of the cold.
I went to the indoor pool.
And to my surprise it was actually warmer than the outdoor pool.
The lack of the sun, the lack of people who know me.
If only I could cry underwater.
Then I wouldnt have to spend time wiping my tears.
And today.
For the first time, I actually thought that Ice-cream was warm.
It provided so much warmth.
How can somebody even live.
When he or she thinks of dieing all the time.
10:43:00 PM,
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