More sunsets.


I feel that I have lost it all.
Feeling so lonely these days.
Sheesh.
I am becoming more of an outcast.
Or at least thats what I think is happening to me.
Maybe I am being to sensitive.
But hell.
I am always out of the group.
And then just awhile ago.
I realize that when I am lonely and I feel like
talking to somebody on msn.
I just could not choose or think of a person to talk to on msn.
There are like about 200 ++ names in my list.
And not one is calling out to me to talk to them.
I know this is pretty much of my fault since I am always busy.
Then because of playing computer games,
I actually ignore certain people at times thinking
that "Yea, I will get back to you later"
but I am such an ass because that just never happens.
Now its all being thrown back to me.
I cant think of who to talk to anymore.

Then theres my family.
I think that I am about to fall sick.
But guess what.
When i tell my sister her reply was.
"Your problem"
my mum reply was
" You dont want to go school dont need to come up with excuses okay,
you sick also must go school"
my dad's reply was erm.
"@%$&#%^*#$%@%&@$&%! You sleep late. BLAH BLAH BLAH"
Yeap.
My conclusion is.
Who cares about jillson tan xing kai.
And what happens if I just go missing now.
Would anyone notice?
I have a 99% feeling that nobody would care.
Maybe nobody would even realize that I am gone.

Then there's the worry that how if I dont do well
in poly.
Wouldnt I just be wasting my parents money?
Should I just kill myself anyway?
I am like wasting my parents money
right this moment using the computer.
No one would ever imagine that I am actually
stressing about these stuffs.
*Sign*

I seriously need somebody to talk to.
Or even better.
A hug?


9:34:00 PM,
stars